Dear Hopeless Romantics and gush-aholics,
Please be sure to steer clear of this film. As your fearless leader and in some senses, supreme leader, I advise you to see another movie -- Iron Man 2 perhaps? I don't like the arguing, because I cannot figure out WTF Pepper is saying half the time or what they're even arguing about. She seems to start arguing in medias res, and the wind pressure alone would have killed her in the end, making Iron Man's valiant rescue of Pepper a violent death, but let's not niggle over details. It's hellah more romantic than Letters to Juliet. Every aspect of Letters to Juliet is symptomatic of what is wrong with how people view romantic relationships. If it's not good and it doesn't fit in your life, the best rule of thumb is to let the fuck go. Literally, let the fuck go. It might be a good fuck, but...it's best to let it go.
I was in the theater with people sighing and saying "Oh she's cheating," under their breaths, when Sophie kisses Charlie. Yeah, that was their idea of "cheating." Mm-hm. Anyways! What I don't like about this film is not that I could have written the dialogue in a sleepless stupor at 5am, but that it teaches people that in order to find the love of your life, you must a) cheat on your significant other or b) return to some far off remote place fully delusional that he will be the exact person you knew when you loved him. Long lost love Lorenzo says, "When it comes to love, it's never too late." Yes, sometimes it is. People change, people! I guess it's not too much of a spoiler to inform you that there is indeed a Romeo and Juliet scene.
OTOH: this film represents the culmination some serious method acting on behalf of both Franco Nero and Vanessa Redgrave, which is reason alone to watch this film, if I still haven't dissuaded you.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Night and Day
I know what the title of the movie is and the title sucks, b/c there is no parallel between "day" and anybody else in the movie. But carrying on. . . welcome to the highlights of the latest issue in a series of chick flicks that hate chicks -- as Dave White would put it. Nevermind the all-too-ridiculous/predictable ending of the film that's almost more inconceivably stupid than Adrien Brody's sex scene in Splice was exploding with WTFness. [Or maybe I was exploding with WTFness? O.o] My favorite part of Knight and Day is when Cameron Diaz starts talking about how she wants to have sex, how good it would feel, and then Tom Cruise cuts in with something like,"Are you on drugs?" And she's like, "Yeah." I'm sure there are a few people who could identify with that scenario without the actually-being-on-drugs part.
Earlier on in the film she convinces herself she's on a romantic date with him, while she has inadvertently boarded a plane undergoing a hostage take-over. Of course she has no idea, because she's busy primping herself for an impromptu date, while he's busy killing everyone on the plane; and of course she doesn't notice, b/c she has to fix her hair. If this isn't an oblivious depiction of the American female, I don't know what else is. He has to interrupt the love scene to inform her that he killed the pilots, that the plane is crashing, that some of them killed each other too and sh*t like that just happens; and then she starts laughing hysterically, because she doesn't believe him nor see any of the dead bodies surrounding her. Being a female in a mainstream romantic comedy makes her oblivious to such trivialities, of course.
Then we the audience start laughing hysterically too, because the circumstance isn't really that serious anyways, and the realization that it's not really that serious is actually quite hilarious as well. (Don't think so? It's probably not the film for you. But you knew that already, or I did.) But the ending of the film leaves you with such a horrible impression of the screenwriters and the studio that you keep hoping they're going to back out with some crazy Repo Men-like twist that you could see from a mile away (or in my case...from the moment that Forest Whitaker starts talking about that novel neural network stimulation shiznit.)
Earlier on in the film she convinces herself she's on a romantic date with him, while she has inadvertently boarded a plane undergoing a hostage take-over. Of course she has no idea, because she's busy primping herself for an impromptu date, while he's busy killing everyone on the plane; and of course she doesn't notice, b/c she has to fix her hair. If this isn't an oblivious depiction of the American female, I don't know what else is. He has to interrupt the love scene to inform her that he killed the pilots, that the plane is crashing, that some of them killed each other too and sh*t like that just happens; and then she starts laughing hysterically, because she doesn't believe him nor see any of the dead bodies surrounding her. Being a female in a mainstream romantic comedy makes her oblivious to such trivialities, of course.
Then we the audience start laughing hysterically too, because the circumstance isn't really that serious anyways, and the realization that it's not really that serious is actually quite hilarious as well. (Don't think so? It's probably not the film for you. But you knew that already, or I did.) But the ending of the film leaves you with such a horrible impression of the screenwriters and the studio that you keep hoping they're going to back out with some crazy Repo Men-like twist that you could see from a mile away (or in my case...from the moment that Forest Whitaker starts talking about that novel neural network stimulation shiznit.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)